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Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power. ~Blaine Lee~

Choices are available to all of us. What we choose is a reflection of our values, of our self esteem, and of our dreams. Choosing well is an acquired skill. It requires knowing who you are, and weighing the outcomes carefully before deciding what is best.

All too often I have chosen things out of the initial thrill, the excitement of the opportunity, the synchronicity. Did all of these choices work out? No. But I admit that I learned a lot about my inner strength, and my ability to ask for support as I unraveled the aftermath and made new choices.

The key for me today is – make choices for me, independent of what other people might want for me. I know myself best. Others might have great ideas, but are they a good fit for me? Or am I choosing these things out of obligation or people pleasing? Am I choosing out of fear, or waiting for the right thing to manifest?

If I choose out of approval seeking motives, it will invariably backfire. I can honor myself first and choose based on what I want the big picture to look like. As much as life guides me to the best thing, I have an active responsibility to simultaneously create what I want.

It’s good to remember that choices are not permanent. The choices we make can be changed to fit where we want to go at any moment. We don’t have to make sense to the rest of the world, just to ourselves. As we grow,  choices grow with us, and often change. How can they not? Far too often fear dictates choices, and then resentment at fear-based actions soon ensues.

How can we choose better in order to live better?

Get quiet. Stop sharing every idea that flits across your brain and look at things from a quiet, still state of being, where you can hear your inner voice, and intuition the best. Remind yourself that intuition is never wrong. It is truly your heart speaking then, and heart-based decisions rarely lead any one astray, at least in my experience.

I admit that sometimes I completely ignore the red-flag-gut-reactions and choose against my best interests anyway. Even in these choices I do gain experience and wisdom. Luckily, once the lesson is learned, the situation fades away. My task is always to take responsibility for the choices, and say “ok that was then, this is now. How can I use this to make now, better?”

Choices. We all make them daily. Some end up with wonderful outcomes, others are opportunities to grow.